hell yeah

what a mess.

my stitches are warn loose, my brain is bursting through again. 

I am sitting in a garden burning all the flowers. 

“with ash in my mouth, I ask it to burn again.”

I am bombing my building, destroying the home, to bury my heart in a catacomb

“with ash in my mouth, I ask it to burn again.”

I’m chopping down this tree I climbed so high, brilliant views and my ax and me

“with ash in my mouth, I ask it to burn again.”

I won’t take my hands out of the fire, I ask my body to join

yet it feels so right.

I’ve been making montages lately, some still need work but they’re for my photography portfolio. The last photo really means a lot to me, it’s of my brother’s grave.

Testing my imagination 

 

hey guys.

I forgot my feelings?

It was strange, that sick twisted feel of bitter happiness. hmm. I’ll think on that.

I better not get bored. 

God I’m a wave collapsing you, on top of you.

So confused on where to go, growing confused of what I know? Who knows?

I feel like I’ve grown so spectacularly, on top of this hill, what a view! What a view!

But look out below, cause down she’ll go, down she’ll fall, that force that pulls us all to the bottom- then back on top back to the view, back to the days where one once knew. Who knew that life would entail inconsistent days of red and blue. Red and blue; blue then red, sick silly demons swim up to my feet, grab my ankles to drag down deep, nibbling my flesh, oh what worms we eat! Only to drown out then let me float once again; this time bigger, better bountiful breaths within.

But have you ever thought with age brings worn brittle bones? With age you’ll have to buy back all your homes. With age you’ll die flat all alone. With age your fear fights your own back bone. You grow “stronger” in time but more brittle from birth, living to suffer, or suffering of mirth!

I see the bottom below but oh dear God what a harsh blow it’ll be, drowning down and out of a bittersweet symphony.

Pull me down to lift me up, I bought the ticket; let’s go for a ride.

so you must be an angel. 

You’re who I’ve been searching for. My rock, my heart, my muse. You fit my heart’s intricate moldings down to the detail. Like a child to the womb, your warmth clings to my sides and encompasses my head. My head and heart are working for me in this situation, the contrasting concepts eventually coexisted in their first ever compliance. This impossible task that you have conquered is all too choice to fall into the hands of the ongoing phenomenon of coincidences babe, you are all too unreal and this is all too surreal to even deem this of reality. Your anomalous nature provides a uniqueness I can’t ignore, and which I am truly blessed with. This is what God promised, you are the change I have let wash over me, and wash me clean. I have never felt so indispensable. You’ve added wealth in my life, you’ve radiated optimism and reestablished a reason for me to wake up in the mornings. Because of you I feel worth something. 

By the way, your halo is a bit crooked. 

You shine brighter than the sun

Lay down in this cold captivity , these raw bones tracing my empty tranquillity  

    Oh baby, let my blood flow, hold me through this harsh blow      

                          Withered maps trace your distance, fragile fingers pursue your existence,          

charts say you’re a thumbnail away, these deceiving directions sink my heart of clay.

When will my rescue be retrieved? Once I save myself from this fire I’ve perceived  

  to wear my heart upon my sleeve, yet in your touch I can believe.    

                    You’ve already saved me and sailed away, since your depart I’ve found my fray      

  Now I lift up my own skin, yet leave room for you to enter back in.                                       Come back my love, it’s time to fly.

is knowing you’ll wake up 

so completely jovial, I feel free.

I’m getting stronger and my mind is free again. I’ve cut that string. I’m having a great time with new beautiful people. I feel worth a lot more